northernbook Ch. 195 - Life Is Short -- Eat Whatever You Want
Ch. 195 - Life Is Short -- Eat Whatever You Want
The three of them exchanged gifts and headed home.With years of friendship between them, words of thanks were no longer necessary.
Chen Shu got home, collapsed onto his bed, and passed out cold.
...
"No matter how I try, I cannot escape this world of flowers..." [1]
Early the next morning, Chen Shu was jolted out of a deep sleep by his phone ringing.
Instant rage surged through him. He snatched up the phone and snarled:
"Who the fuck is this, waking up the Nanjiang Bandit at the crack of dawn?! You got a death wish?!"
"It's me, Fang Si!"
"..."
Chen Shu's expression froze. He sobered up real quick. "No wonder the ringtone sounded so pleasant -- turns out it's Sis Fang Si."
"That was a fast recovery!"
Fang Si continued. "It's noon already. Get out here and eat!"
Chen Shu yawned, tidied himself up, and casually tossed a Dali Bun to the Slime.
Sure, 2% Strength was only 2%. But even a mosquito's leg was still meat -- don't dismiss shrimp just because it's not lobster.
A moment later, something else crossed his mind. He pulled a container out of his bag. Inside sat a bright-red heart.
It was his Spirit Fighting Arena reward!
A Shadow Wolf Lord heart. There was a chance it could teach the talent skill "Extreme Speed" -- a timed movement speed boost. Pretty practical, all things considered.
"I offer Old Xie and Xiao Xing's ten years of lifespan as the price -- please, let this work!"
Chen Shu tossed the heart to the Slime, pressed his palms together, and prayed fervently...
A moment later, a wail of anguish echoed through the room:
"My heart! It actually failed!" [2]
Chen Shu's face fell. Three million yuan, gone -- just like that. Flushed straight down the drain. Regular people really couldn't afford to roll for skills...
Then a thought occurred to him. He muttered:
"Unless... Old Xie and Xiao Xing don't even have ten years left? That's the only explanation for why it failed!"
"Achoo!"
"Achoo!"
Somewhere across town, Xie Sunan and Xu Xingxing sneezed for no apparent reason. "Why do I keep feeling like someone's cursing us?"
...
Around noon. Inside "Damn Delicious" Hotpot.
"Oh, everyone's here?"
Chen Shu spotted Xu Xingxing and Xie Sunan the moment he walked in.
"Old Xie, Xiao Xing... life is short. You two should eat whatever you want..."
Chen Shu's gaze was complicated. He let out a heavy sigh and handed the menu to them.
"The fuck? What's with that look?"
Xie Sunan felt his heart clench. It was like they didn't have long to live or something.
"Oh, right -- Sis Fang Si, how long are you staying in Nanjiang?" Chen Shu asked.
With a bodyguard this powerful, he absolutely had to find a chance to go hunting in an Alternate Dimension.
Fang Si thought for a moment. "Depends on the situation. No set schedule -- it's up to whenever my replacement arrives."
The five of them were in the middle of eating when Fang Si's phone suddenly rang.
Her expression changed instantly. She stood up.
Chen Shu had a vague premonition. "What happened?"
Fang Si's face was dead serious. "A horde of fierce beasts showed up in Wangxing Township. I need to go handle it!"
Chen Shu was about to speak when options materialized before his eyes.
[Option 1: Don't react. Keep eating hotpot.]Completion reward: 2 Basic Beast Pearls
[Option 2: Speak up: "Hold on -- you haven't paid the bill yet!"]Completion reward: 2 Level-2 Gigantification Fruits
[Option 3: Go with Fang Si and exterminate the fierce beasts!]Completion reward: Large Beast Taming Power
Chen Shu's eyes sharpened. He locked onto Option 3 immediately.
It was winter break and he had nothing to do anyway. With someone as powerful as Fang Si along, there shouldn't be any real danger.
"Sis Fang Si, I'm coming with you," Chen Shu said.
"You?"
Fang Si raised an eyebrow, a little surprised. "Let me make this clear -- there's no protection fee. If you try to shake me down..."
"What kind of talk is that?!"
Chen Shu cut her off immediately. He drew himself up with the solemnity of a man addressing the nation and declared:
"Protecting the city! Protecting its people! This is the sacred duty of our generation!"
"In this hour of crisis, if we don't step up, who will? If at a time like this, all you can think about is eating hotpot -- are you even human?!"
Xie Sunan and Xu Xingxing, currently in the middle of enjoying their hotpot, looked up.
Is this asshole pointing at the mulberry tree to scold the locust?
"Especially us -- students of Nanjiang Second High's Special Training Class! If we don't step up at a time like this, then we're worse than pigs and dogs!"
Son of a bitch!
Xie Sunan and Xu Xingxing's mouths twitched. They stood up immediately.
This motherfucker is getting more insulting with every sentence!
Both of them wore expressions of iron resolve. "We feel the same way. At a time like this, we absolutely have to join in!"
A smile played at the corner of Chen Shu's mouth. Xie Sunan and Xu Xingxing's combat abilities were trash, sure, but they could at least play support.
One in charge of running away, and one in charge of reconnaissance!
Zhang Dali stood up. "I wanna go check it out too."
He was just an ordinary person, technically, but he was extremely interested in fierce beasts'... meat.
Besides -- did they really think he was stupid? If everyone left, then who the fuck was paying the bill?
"Since you want to come, let's all go together!"
The words had barely left his mouth before four people bolted for the exit, leaving Xu Xingxing sitting there completely dumbfounded.
"Motherfuck--"
Xu Xingxing's mouth twitched. He hadn't expected all four of them to move that fast.
He was simply too young and naive!
"Sir, your total comes to 355..."
Xu Xingxing sighed, paid the bill, and walked outside -- only to find all four of them staring at him.
"Don't you come any closer!"
Xu Xingxing was on full alert, terrified of getting scammed again.
He'd originally planned to relax on the first day of winter break. Instead, he'd walked straight into a nightmare.
"We're heading out! Hurry up and summon your bird!"
Chen Shu's eyes gleamed with anticipation. Flying through a city -- now that was something he'd never tried.
With Fang Si's Dragon Guard credentials, it would be green lights all the way.
Xu Xingxing blinked, then caught on. Excitement flooded his face as he summoned his contract spirit.
A Mutant Thunderbird appeared in an instant. It was just about to give its butt a wiggle when all five people swarmed on at once.
THUD!
The Mutant Thunderbird -- wings half-spread, ready for takeoff -- faceplanted straight into the ground. Its belly slapped flat against the pavement.
SCREEE!
The Mutant Thunderbird let out a sharp cry, eyes full of indignation.
You're literally using me as a fucking city bus!
"You got this!"
Xu Xingxing ordered the Thunderbird to activate its skills. With multiple speed buffs stacked, the five of them successfully got airborne.
The Mutant Thunderbird waddled its butt, then shot skyward, rocketing toward Wangxing Township.
"This bird?"
A flash of surprise crossed Fang Si's eyes. She hadn't expected an 8th-rank contract spirit to be this fast.
"Fast, right, Sis Fang Si?" Xu Xingxing said. "It doesn't have a single attack skill. They're all speed buffs."
"..."
Fang Si studied the Mutant Thunderbird for a long time before finally saying one thing: "How afraid of dying are you, exactly?"
She hadn't seen a contract spirit this... singularly dedicated even at Huaxia Academy.
The group encountered zero resistance along the way. The Spirit Suppression Bureau and the local government didn't even attempt to stop them.
Fang Si's silver armband wasn't just a piece of jewelry. Official personnel had immediately identified the people on the Mutant Thunderbird as Dragon Guard.
The Mutant Thunderbird streaked across the Nanjiang sky like a bolt of blue light.
Below, people craned their necks upward, eyes full of envy.
Anyone bold enough to fly through a city was either privileged, or reckless.
Or recklessly privileged...
[1] "Drunken Butterfly" (酒醉的蝴蝶): A 2019 Chinese pop song by Cui Weili that went viral on Douyin (Chinese TikTok). The opening lyric: "No matter how I try, I cannot escape this world of flowers -- I am a drunken butterfly." The fact that this is Chen Shu's ringtone hilariously undercuts his "Nanjiang Bandit" tough-guy persona.
[2] 额滴心啊 (e di xin a): Shaanxi dialect exclamation meaning "my heart!" -- where 额 is the Shaanxi pronunciation of 我 (I/my). Spread across the Chinese internet as a comedic marker for theatrical, chest-clutching despair. Chen Shu delivers it here after his 3-million-yuan skill gamble fails.